The “How To” Guide for Self Love.. in 5 Steps!


There’s a saying that goes a little something like this, “No one is going to love you if you don’t love yourself first.”  I’m not sure if I believe that, but I do believe that loving yourself makes life so much better.   If you enjoy your own company you will never be lonely plus it makes it easier to love other people.

To practice radical self love you have to learn to listen to your intuition which is constantly trying to tell you what your body and soul really need.  Sometimes radical self love may look like a day in bed with a stack of your favorite magazines and a pot of your favorite tea. Some days it may be going for a long run. Other times it could mean a big bowl of ice cream or a fresh green salad.   Whatever it is, if you aren’t currently at the top of your list, here are five easy ways to start loving yourself more today.

1. Spend Time Alone Each Week

Turn off your computer and your phone and..take yourself out for a walk, visit a museum or swoop a table for one at a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try.  The point is, you need to learn to enjoy your own company.  It may feel strange at first. You may even feel like everyone is watching you (they aren’t), but if they were I can guarantee they are thinking along the lines of,  “I’ d like what she’s having…”

2. Shift your Focus

What’s most important to you, what you look like on the outside or who you are on the inside?   You get to live with yourself every day,  how you talk to yourself and how you treat the people around you is so much more important than what you look  like.  Looks can fade,  but who you are on the inside and how you treat others is what really matters.  It’s never too late to be good to yourself and the world around you.

3. Love + Lipstick

Take your favorite lip stick and write yourself a message on your bathroom mirror.   Could be as simple as “Good Morning Gorgeous!  I love you! You make the world a better place”  or as complicated as “How do I love thee…let me count the ways”,  you get the idea….. Maybe you add to it everyday, maybe you read it aloud to yourself each morning.  Write yourself the love letter you have always wanted to receive.

4. Food for Thought?

Take a good look at what you’re feeding yourself  (and this time I’m not talking about food).Take a look at what you watch, read and listen too.  Ask yourself whether the media, movies and music you indulge in are enhancing your life or detracting from it. If you are taking in a regular diet of  “America’s Top Model” and “Housewives of New York”  with a dose of “The National Enquirer” you may want to evaluate your choices.  By definition, what you’re feeding yourself includes the people you associate with in person and online. If you have people in your life that are in a constant state of self inflicted drama and proverbial complainers you may want to press the “see less of this person” on your facebook, twitter and instagram feeds.

5. Be Yourself

Don’t ever be afraid to admit you love The Back Street Boys and that you adore reading cheesy gossip rags.  Even as adults, we can still feel a certain amount of peer pressure, especially if we don’t love and accept ourselves unconditionally.  So, stand up and admit you have a fascination with serial killers and you really don’t want to learn to cook. You get to choose what you love and how you spend your time and you don’t have to apologize or gloss over anything.  Stand up for what you believe in now. Sing it from the mountain tops sister!

Oscar Wilde and I wish you a life long love affair with Y.O.U..


Robin McAllister-Zaas (Your Health + Life + Weight loss Coach)